My late mom used to say, in her best Greta Garbo impression, “I want to be alone.” I Googled Greta Garbo quotes and found this: “I never said, ‘I want to be alone.’ I only said, ‘I want to be left alone.’ There is all the difference.” Yet another vivid memory found to have errors but still I get what she meant. I was recently asked if I am like my mom and I was reminded of my sister saying we grow more and more like mom as we grow older. I surely get why she would want to be alone or, as Greta Garbo really said, to be left alone. Solitude in a noisy world brings me peace.
I often wonder if I was really alone or had no people near me, would I crave solitude in the same way. I can’t really answer that but I do suspect the answer would be “no.” I guess I want to have social interaction at my own pace and just enough interaction before I need to return to the sanctuary of my home.
I also ponder the role social media has in the desire to be alone versus the need for social interaction/validation. Social media is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it is pervasive. Young people these days are inundated with social media sites. When I have asked students via a Do Now “If you could live in another time, what time would you choose and why?” many of them respond that they would like to live in the 1960s, 70s, or 80s because times were simpler and there was no social media. Students, in many cases, recognize the detrimental parts of social media.
While I did not grow up in an age of social media, obviously, I have embraced many aspects of it and I cannot clearly recall days without it. I recently told my students about not only landlines but party lines and the concept was even difficult for me to understand despite the fact that I lived it at a very young age, or at least heard about it. I cannot even say I have a good grasp on how it worked. Party lines, I think, were cheaper than private lines. I am not sure how people could share party lines but have different telephone numbers. And how about extensions in the house so the phone would ring upstairs and downstairs and little brothers could listen in when the older sister was talking to her boyfriend? I remember calling friends’ homes and having to ask if they could come to the phone. Then came call waiting and caller ID. What innovations! Cordless phones? Amazing.
I remember when I was pregnant with my son and my then-husband had a Stork Alert beeper that we rented so I could potentially reach him if I went into labor. He was in sales and was on the road. He would call into the sales office at particular points in the day but that would be my only way to reach him. If I needed him, I could call a number and the beeper would go off. That would be his cue to phone me. What a system!
Somehow, we morphed into almost everyone having cell phones. Now that I have one, I must always have it with me or panic sets in. If the charge starts to wane, I get nervous. I usually always have it somewhere close by. Because I am in the classroom, I keep it on silent, but I feel a need to check it periodically. If I am home and involved in something for a while, such as cooking, I will sometimes realize I haven’t looked at my phone in a bit and panic because one of my kids may have wanted to contact me. Oh my, the cell phone is wireless but I am tethered to it more than I was to the house phone with the really long wire which enabled me to cook and talk. How far we have come!
For me, one of the biggest detriments of the phone is how it impacts reading. Sometimes, I will confess, I become amused by scrolling through my phone, usually on Facebook. It is, really, a mindless task that is, perhaps, relaxing. Even if I am reading a book, I stop to look at my phone. I am cognizant of the fact that I am allowing this unnecessary distraction and sometimes I must be stern with myself and not allow myself to access my phone at all. It is actually ridiculous for this to be an issue for me, a lifelong reader. But, alas, this is a real, albeit first-world, problem.
In the case of today’s young people who have grown up with technology at their fingertips, how do we counteract this phenomenon? Perhaps it will be a wave of the future where young people begin to shun the all-encompassing nature of social media and technology and, instead, pick and choose the aspects of it which enhance their lives?
The need/want to be left alone may, indeed, go along with this thought. I think, for me, embracing the aspects of social interaction which enhance my life is the key to my happiness. Not all social interaction is a plus.